B.itchin @ Lovechild’s 2nd Birthday - 12-Feb-2011
Fire, London)
We’ve never had the experience of a lovechild, not that we know of, but we are always up for scandalous sensation so Lovechild’s 2nd Birthday party might be the night we conceive in the ‘contact room’ and name our child ‘Fire’? With a friend just begging for a reunion to stop him going stir crazy and climbing the walls with his bf. This could only mean the B.itches had to investigate and with SuperMartXe’s rebirth at Pulse being delayed until March (!!) then we’d persuaded our ‘disco bunny’ Surrey Quay’s friend out for walkies as well.
We B.itches keep it simple so when other offers of pre-parties come flooding in we flash our clubtickets.com print out and recited our mantra – B.itch-life-simple-life! So with dearest thanks to the Central and Victoria lines we arrived at Vauxhall Tube station at 12:25am – did you know there is a conveniently located urinal opposite the Tube exit, well now you do - and no more peeing behind the RVT bins!!
Cutting through South Lambeth Place (the road under the railway station) we were greeted by oh goodness a queue which had snaked round from South Lambeth Road – the front of Fire, SuperMarXe-freezing-memories flooded back! And oh my goodness what a load of trash in the queue ahead and most of it female. Looked like a hen party. Sorry, no sorry, stop blog here – stop. OK a little bit sexist and ‘hetrophobic’ but allowing Hen Parties into gay clubs is just a step too far – beautiful fag hags and gay friendly girls ok, but ugly quacks of ducklings come on darlings!! Anyhow, b.itch over and luckily before we could moan the queue moved and was just a delaying tactic as the front of Fire was all the security check zone and empty. So a quick security check and look in my bag and we were revealing our online purchase to the friendly young man, whose number we didn’t get (just yet).
This was our first visit to the ‘all new Fire’, and there was a moment of surreal expectation as there are three sets of doors to open before you enter the club – well it made the cute boy in front of me giggle anyhow. The cockroom was in the usual place and smoothly operated. So leaving our coats securely stored, we then entering the bar, newly positioned in the centre facing the dancefloor. The walkway has switched sides as well – probably meaning less jams at the opposite end where the DJ booth has moved to. So standing on the walkway overlooking the dance floor we waited for our taller friend and his gang to arrive while checking out the quality of guys – which actually was much better than we’d seen outside, thank goodness. By 1.30am it was nicely filling up and the music was improving courtesy of Chris Bekker in an uplifting style - with a lovely set of boxer-esque dancing boys play fighting on the podium with abs to die for. Mmm maybe pop one of those into my going home goodie bag! Were they the Delice Boys – well more enticing than the Gaydar boys before them.
We had a little wander to find the bar to the left of the dance floor, playing some weird sounds that made us get a drink and exit. The second room, or Mirror Arch, opened around 2.30am and that’s where we thought the action was going to take place, but on a few reconnaissance missions we were stumped to find ourselves standing next to middle aged ladies and felt a little embarrassed that something might kick off so retreated gracefully to the main room to watch a striptease act in full throttle. We then settled back to listen to the live PA by Kaysee Kaz – we think the acoustics could have done with a sound check and don’t think her new single Lovechild is going to be hitting the high notes in the download charts. But there was general enthusiasm for her set. There was also general enthusiasm for my glistening body and fighting off the attention became a full time job.
So we took another wander, intrigued to see if this contact room actually existed, well by sheer chance we found some seats at the side of the DJ booth in the second room – which remained pretty empty – and wondering if the passage way with camouflage netting was actually it! And then spotted guys disappearing behind the DJ booth – oooh the infamous Red Room - that the B.icthes first made out in – well it might still be red but with camouflage netting and virtually no lighting this was now the ‘Contact Room’ – ooh we were the stars of the night, seriously getting too much attention – maybe because not many people could find it either! We so easily could have missed that, so bringing news to our buddies we sent them off to investigate on their own – what happens in the dark, stays in the dark. And we are in the dark as to whether there were condoms about – we took our own but didn’t bump into any obvious containers – just stating our safe s*x experience but prove us wrong please!
The boys were off to Beyond but we B.itches were having an early night and avoiding the illegal taxi touts outside Charriots (yet again!!) we walked 10 metres further up and took a cab from the nice controller guy outside Area. Be safe!
Another generally gripe is that event promoters need to learn how to maximise their use of Facebook and create an event page so we can easily invite friends – surely a given. Plus we are members of countless clubbing groups but never seems to get the event announcement email – probably because they didn’t send one, but then you get 3 or 4 emails via Facebook of other Groups recommending the main party – viral type stuff or what but let’s start doing it properly – it’s simples!
Anyway – we might have conceived a Lovechild fetish and this continental style dark room addition to clubbing in London makes a welcome distraction or is it attraction to a normal clubbing experience – and since we were not displeased with the quality of guys, nor the funky, vocal house music – then we would definitely give them a try again, despite our everlasting love of SuperMartXe buff boys!!! B.itchin-LoveChild-style could just be coming back into fashion.
