La Demence “21st Anniversary: Opening Party” @ K-nal, Brussels (29/10/10)
With David Cameroon already b.itchin it made sense for us to check the Euro-boyz-erogoneous-zones out for ourselves as part of a mini birthday treat. So we checked in at the party hotel, the Royal Windsor; 4* and I’ve never seen so many mirrors in a bedroom – mmm we’re going to enjoy this bed. Friday night, the opening party – had moved from the resident Fuse club (the main party being Sunday). Arriving sympathetically late at 12.30 in order to catch the UK’s Pagano on the decks we found a bit of a queue for the presales – no security check – and then we entered directly into the main bar which was packed – it took a while to work out that the scrum of people to the right at the bar were actually at the cloakroom – we’ll this will be no surprise to UK clubbers with cloakroom disasters seemingly all too frequent. But this was breaking our cloakroom hell cherry and proved a little frustrating! We spent at least 45 mins queuing – because there was no queuing system and everyone just pushed in and in and in and when we did get to the counter – everyone around me got served but me – are you blind you dumb b.itch! All this with a supporting soundtrack of the beats of DJ Pagano. But serious point here; when oh when will venues sort out this seemingly endemic problem. It’s a basic and really gives you a downer as you start your evening – and jeez obviously the venue planners had totally not thought about cloakroom and the management even less so of how you manage a cloakroom queue on a busy night – come on La Demence!! Fuse is your natural home on a Friday anyhow! B’itch over (for now!)
So finally with drink in hand - served by some reasonably sexy and efficient bar staff – once we had cleared up the way to ask for a ‘coke’ is for a ‘cola’, not a ‘coca-cola’, not a ‘coke’ but a cola, thank you Belgium! We entered the main dance floor – bumping into one of the clubbers we had been chatting to in advance from Montreal – that Maple leaf tattoo giving him away nicely :P The floor was massive but one of those dance floors with only one way on so becomes a shoving ground i.e. no side walkways or multiple entry points – we managed to edge towards the DJ booth just to check it was actually Pagano on the decks and got his customary cheery smile in return. A great set, a little lighter and more uplifting than his customary style and it was going down a storm so 10 out of 10 to the Italian maestro. K-Nal is a super space high ceilings, and nothing to interfere with the space – makes such a change from the dingy railway arch clubs of London – no banging my head here!
The crowd was fit – and had come from every corner of the world – well we met guys from Turkey, Lebanon, Israel, Brazil, France, Netherlands and oh la la, London...yes a blonde guy was playing with me and then I heard him speaking Eng-a-lish to his friend and then they started dancing as if they were at the cheesy Kylie-pop-inspired G-A-Y-Heaven club so I sympathetically embarrassed them with a few well chosen words of English myself and got a girlish giggle and he lowered his amorous intentions on me – oh flip. There was a big London crowd there – damn them! But it says something about London clubbing, yes??
Upstairs was the second room - again a fabulous colourful open space with high ceilings - a much bigger and brighter bar area with plenty of seating, A,smaller dance area and the tunes were edging towards RnB with a dutch DJ? and this little pussy cat has no ass to shake, as we are constantly reminded by Latino-B.itch – step machine here I cum! So apart from immediate causing a sensation in the upper floor and getting unwanted attention by people who just ain’t tall enough or good looking enough! We left, it was also time to find the bathroom which in itself proved a mystery tour. We eventually ended up in the basement to find the smallest loos we’ve ever seen for a venue of this capacity! But we were chatting to a cool French couple in the queue who we next saw in full swing action fcuk’ing in the cubicle since in their rush they had forgotten to lock the door – oh la la! No wonder the queues build up! Get a room! And as if my magic down in the basement was the European clubs standard fare – a darkroom – not usually our scene but was proving very popular – a chance to check out some of the guys who were cruising us on the dance floor for sure – quite an eye opener and enough UV lighting not to make it a total black out. What would your mother think!!
It was back to the main floor to continue with Phil Romano taking over the decks, we were hoping to get a bit of Eilas from Spain but the sheer trudging about to get anywhere was a bit frustrating – that said the party was therefore packed, popular and oozing fit bodies, and we were getting the benefits of our own time spent buffing up in the gym. But bit what is going on – that bum to groin dance scenario and guys acting as if they are not interested when you try and speak to them – makes life very hard to engage – the poor young twink from Spain – so sweet but you were 5ft7! And where did you mate grow that haystack on his head!! But on exchanging names they promptly left – um is this becoming a pattern or is that my queue to leave too? Oh I’m so old fashioned in these things!! Then the gang of misfits who were smoking and kept following me - it was the smoking that really put me off guys – that’s why I kept moving out of your smoke trail duh – I have one burn scare from the night to remind me of the progress of UK and most other European countries have made - come on Belgium BAN smoking in clubs – it’s horrible – although thankfully the smokers were in the minority – probably because most guys will think you can’t smoke indoors but it felt like we had gone back in time! The Lebenese hunks – I am talking giants and packed with muscle – the main worry there is that they are going to snap me - but they had their pincer movement well rehearsed, I was often trapped.in a sea of muscle! But eye contact and conversation seems to something all these guys avoid – their loss to these weird Brits!
For some unknown reason, they keep the spot lights on from a certain time in the last few hours of the evening. Now either the lighting system was bust or they feel that if you had no luck in the dark room , then let’s show everyone to everyone so you can pick a partner before you go home. I just felt this unfairly highlighted me and drew even more unfavourable attention :P So with more and more competition as my dancing partner which meant having to keep moving around the dance floor to have some space!
So thinking it might be cloakroom chaos we checked out at 6.30 – but oh – we stood for 30 mins and not a soul seemed to get their coat – we only had one jacket – and since it was a rash purchase at a bargain price at TX-Maxx last weekend I didn’t feel so bad that it was our parting gift to K-NAL – auction it and get a guy to run your cockroom! But there was a free bus – well a dilapidated one but it trundled us back to Central station and luckily some satnav savvy Italians (who yes, live in London!) helped us find the hotel while we tried to avoid the eyeing stares of a muscle couple – yes mate you had pushed me out of the way earlier in the evening at coat check – never one to hold a grudge as a Scorpio am I? But we did need our bed and some snuggling while falling asleep to some Cream chill out music- and with late check out at 4.00pm its worth staying at the club’s preferred hotel isn’t it!
So overall we have to report a great expereince a super sexy crowd, super music on main floor, just a few flaws in the choice of location (although beats the dodgy stairwells of Fuse) and then our coat check ‘left coat’ debacle. Will we be back? I’m sure we will – but once a year and on a normal night at Fuse :P and thanks to the new friends we met and hopefully stay in touch with.
Bondage Start-Up Kit 
