Update Cuckoo' s Nest

logo Cuckoo' s Nest
cruise bar
mon-thu 13:00–01:00, fri-sat 13:00–02:00, sun 13:00–01:00
Nieuwezijds Kolk 6, Amsterdam
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today, 01:50   

Two or three years ago, this was a great place for a beer and a quick fuck. It seems those days are gone: it's always quiet here, even on Saturday night. No tourists, no cute locals -- just an atmosphere of quiet boozy despair and lots of elderly men.

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14 days ago   

Wilco, I agree with you that Johnny is being rude, but he is 100% correct.

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23 days ago

To Johnny, I too am in my 40's but respect all who want to enjoy this bar. I wonder how you will react in a few years time when you are classed as old. You'll probably stay home and masterbate. Hopefully you will as you're certainly not welcome in our city!

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29 days ago   

Nothing but old guys here. I am in my early forties and don't pretend to be any younger, but this was like visiting a psychiatric/geriatric ward.

GAY TOURISTS, PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM AMSTERDAM. IT IS DEAD. THERE IS NOTHING HERE. ONLY OLD FAGGOTS REMAIN. IT IS WORSE THAN HELL HERE. ONLY OLD MEN. ONLY OLD ONES. OLD. OLD. STAY HOME AND MASTURBATE. ONLY OLD GUYS HERE!!! OLD! OLD! OLD!!! THERE ARE NO YOUNG GUYS HERE! THEY ARE OLD, O SO VERY OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!

OLD GUYS!!!!!!! AAAAARGHH!

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1 months ago   

Only good if you're into old and/or mentally ill men. Quiet, smelly and scary.

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5 months ago   

Amazing place! No silly young people here to ruin the atmosphere with their glowing skin and supple limbs, just a bunch of badly-dressed fifty-to-seventy-somethings drinking the winters of their lives away. Gay Amsterdam at its finest.

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6 months ago   

On a typical Friday or Saturday night you will find two things here: 1) a small crowd of scary, minging queers aged 50-70, and 2) an atmosphere of despair. In other words, it's just like the rest of Amsterdam.

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7 months ago

Denk dat dit DE plek is waar ik me vreselijk kan later onder smeren. Ik bedoel op me knieën in een hoekje. Naakt. En geblinddoekt. Kom allemaal maar met je sap naar me toe. En smeer het in me gezicht en over mijn lijf. Ben daar 4 feb rond 15.00

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7 months ago   

I'm in my late 20s, and I visited this club in multiple occasions and I must say, actually I like this place. Central, cheap beer, staff is ok, plenty of space, they even recharge the battery of your phone if the battery is dead (very sweet). True, there are old guys as it is true for all the cruising place in the known universe (and personally I'm not into them, just a matter of personal preference) but you can also find young guys. Clearly is not a disco, where the average of the crowd's age is 20, but I never left disappointed. You will always find some young guys to have fun with there if you are young cute, so in that case give it a try.

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8 months ago   

Mostly mouldy oldies here. Like being in a horror movie full of zombies, only with much worse music (no Goblin here, just a bunch of wrinkled gremlins). Whatever appeal Amsterdam may have held for cruisy gay men once, it's dead and buried now.

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9 months ago   

I fucked a hot guy in his tight ass with my hard cock here yesterday. Made me laugh all the more at the many old men pointlessly going around in circles in the basement, super-anxious to get their leg over and never succeeding. Hilarious.

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9 months ago   

This used to be a great place to get some action, but for the past eighteen months or so the (sparse) crowd here has largely consisted of old and creepy men. The same goes for all the other cruising venues in this boring, phoney tourist trap of a town full of ancient mingers. RIP Amsterdam.

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10 months ago

Was here briefly around 1:30 a.m. on a Friday night. There was practically nobody there. Amsterdam is a city without nightlife.

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11 months ago   

Full of OAPs (Old-Ass Phaggots).

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11 months ago   

If this place had a Western theme it would be called "The Old, the Fat and the Ugly". I guess Grindr has killed the cruising scene for good, and only human flotsam (like me) still frequents places like this.

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over a year ago   

Too many old guys.

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over a year ago   

I love this bar! As a youthful man in his early seventies I find this the perfect place to go cruising for young guys in their fifties and sixties. Juicy!!!

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over a year ago   

I visited the Cuckoo's Nest, Dirty Dicks and Eagle last Saturday (i.e. Pink Saturday as well as the Pride opening night) and was somewhat surprised to find that these places were no less quiet than usual.

In fact, when visiting Dirty Dicks at 11 pm I found all of three people there, one of whom was a youngish tourist, who left in a hurry when he saw what was (not) on offer. Management had thoughtfully removed the bar stools to make more room, but that turned out not to be necessary at all.

Later, a few people turned up, but they were all in their sixties at least.

Let's face it: the Amsterdam Pride has become a party for babymakers, who get to congratulate themselves on how tolerant they are. It's about "culture", "tolerance", "acceptance" and a whole slew of admirable ideals, but I was left wondering what happened to the gay stuff.

Did anybody manage to get laid in Amsterdam last weekend?

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over a year ago   

Nothing but ugly old men here, all weekend long. The same was true for Dirty Dicks, the Web and Eagle. Amsterdam is dead.

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over a year ago   

Allemaal opaatjes.

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over a year ago

Largely empty on Saturday. Too many old guys for my taste. Dirty Dicks was even emptier.

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over a year ago   

I spent the entire evening (5 pm till 11 pm) visiting various gay cruising places and saw no action whatsoever. In fact, I haven't managed to get my leg over in the "scene" in five months! (I am an average-looking guy in his early forties.) Warning to tourists: Do not believe the PR machine! Amsterdam as a gay destination is DEAD!

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over a year ago   

Ik kom vaak in de Cuckoo's Nest, zeker twee of drie keer per week. Het is er gastvrij, de muziek is er vaak leuk en in de zomermaanden is het er goed cruisen. Buiten het seizoen is dat laatste helaas niet het geval: jong en oud, dik en dun, mooi en lelijk -- het loopt urenlang rondjes, maar er gebeurt vrijwel niets. Maar goed, het bier staat koud en soms draaien ze Motown...

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over a year ago   

Love this place, special these dominant guys in the cellar. Here I met a guy who took me to what he called the Popperpark in Amsterdam West, a small garden with action in the bushes.

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over a year ago   

No different from two weeks ago: busy, but full of old men and old-men stink.

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over a year ago   

Full of old mingers.

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over a year ago   

This place is pretty cool. Staff are friendly and helpful (except for one guy) and they charge no admission. There was a good crowd there last weekend, even some young guys (although, to be honest, there was nothing going on in the cruising basement).

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over a year ago   

Deze tent ligt op vijf minuten lopen van het Centraal Station, hij gaat ’s middags al open en je kunt er voor de prijs van een biertje cruisen. Waarom is het hier dan zo vaak zo leeg? Wat zit er toch in het leidingwater van Amsterdam dat hier zo weinig geneukt wordt? Waar hangen de geile homo’s uit?

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over a year ago   

Net als vorige week vrijdag was het hier op vrijdag- en zaterdagavond doodstil. En opnieuw was de gemiddelde leeftijd van de bezoekers erg oog. Een halfuur voor sluitingstijd was de tent leeg. De Amsterdamse scene is zo dood als een pier.

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over a year ago   

Het was hier vanavond, op vrijdag dus, erg stil, en (te) veel van de aanwezigen waren onverzorgd uitziende ouwe kerels. Ik heb de freakshow een paar uurtjes zitten aankijken, daarna ben ik met een gefrustreerd gevoel naar huis afgedropen. Het wordt steeds lastiger om je kwakkie in Amsterdam kwijt te raken (tenzij je een gerontofiel met een gebrekkig werkend reukorgaan bent).

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over a year ago   

It was quiet here tonite (not surprisingly, on a chilly night right after the holidays), but just before closing time a hot young dude gave me an amazing blowjob. Great fun!

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over a year ago   

Groezelige ouwelullentent waar je de hele avond dezelfde figuren door de cruiseruimte rondjes kunt zien lopen, met een steeds gefrustreerdere blik in hun ogen naarmate de avond vordert. En het ergste is: dit is dus de beste cruisetent van Amsterdam, de rest is nog deprimerender en leger, met een nog geriatrischer publiek. Amsterdam is homostad af.

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over a year ago   

This place's cruising area sometimes reminds me a little bit of one of those sushi places where they have a conveyor belt: at first it looks as if the range of dishes on offer is enormous, but pretty soon it becomes obvious that it's the same ones going round and round and round and round. If you're lucky, there may be a tasty morsel for you making its way past; if not, there's always beer. Chopsticks out, lads!

member photo dog-rio
over a year ago   

I will be there again this month (August) and would love to suck & drink (not only beer LOL).

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over a year ago   

When is the best time to visit on a Friday. Will be in Amsterdam this Friday.

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over a year ago   

Easily the best cruising bar in Amsterdam. The crowd is very mixed, there are guys of all ages (between, say, 23 and 70), bar staff are very nice, there are very few creeps around, the music is usually not too bad and all they ask is that you buy a drink when you come in.
I come here fairly often for an after-work beer and have met many cute guys in the process. The atmosphere is very laid-back. Recommended.

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over a year ago   

For the first time in my life I write a review about a bar because I am sick and tired of all the people complaining about the staff and the bar. Yes, sometimes the staff can be a bit 'grumpy', but it's nothing compared to the way some visitors treat the bartenders and other staff. And please realize literally everybody is welcome in this bar. The bartenders never ever judge about the visitors. All they want you to do is order a drink and use the cloakroom for your coat and valuables. This means you have a drink, have somebody to take care of your coat and valuables AND can have a very horny day/night for less than 5 euro's. Not bad, is it?

Personally I like older guys and this bar is one of the few places where one can meet older AND younger guys. I visit this bar once a week and of course it's not always one big party. But most of the times you can meet lots of guys of all ages, races etc in a very open, liberal and tolerant atmosphere. What more do you need?

The Cuckoos Nest is one of the few places where literally everybody's really welcome, so let's be glad with the bar and the staff!

Have fun in Amsterdam!
X Joep

member photo nl020pa
over a year ago   

Sorry for being grumpy but I don't think the recent renovation is an inprovement. It's gets irritating crowded more easy with hardly no place to stand in the groundfloor if you don't have a stool or bench. So the only option is to go straight down to the cellar.

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over a year ago   

It can be fun upstairs with a convivial atmosphere. I've been here several times over the years. The leather queen behind the bar is lovely, the coat-check guy less so-never once had a smile or a thank you from him. Downstairs is a different story-yes, there is lots of potential action-but it also stinks like the sewer it has become. If you are into water sports-enjoy-but for the rest I would advise gas mask & waders if u plan on spending time in the Cellar-not to my taste. Also it is rife with pickpockets & shady characters so don't take valuables downstairs.

photo Qays
over a year ago   

I always like to go this place, it's really nice and chill

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over a year ago   

re: toilet fairy

Thanks for your response. Please note that I at no point blamed the bar staff, who on the whole are about par-for-the-course for an Amsterdam bar.

I reported the disgusting situation to a young guy working the coat check and his attitude of stony 'fuck you' indifference made me write my review somewhat in anger. Apologies for not having been clearer.

I guess I just caught the wrong person at the wrong time. I have since been back there once or twice and had some fun experiences, so I still rate this place at three stars.

One last thing: even though I appreciate that margins in hospitality are razor thin, and that this place charges no admission, I would appreciate it if the manager would invest in a few more amenities, such as more clothes hooks and a few paper-towel dispensers.

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over a year ago   

re: ED MARTIN
i am not taking anyone's side here. But don't you think it is unfair to blame the bar staff for people not flushing the toilet (and probably not washing their hands either) ?
and believe me, there are dirtier toilets in amsterdam than at cockoo's.

I have never ever had a problem with the barmen. and if i see bathroom full of piss, i think - oh well, another pig is in the house. then i press the flush button and move on. simple...

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over a year ago   

Je kunt hier voor de prijs van een biertje naar hartenlust cruisen, en ik heb hier al meer dan eens een geile ervaring gehad, maar waarom is deze tent zo VIES? Twee centimeter pis in de plee, een explosief ondergescheten pot -- hoe kun je zo weinig respect tonen voor je klanten? Om over de zure smoelen van sommige personeelsleden nog maar te zwijgen: zitten daar soms stiekeme homohaters tussen?

Dus... voor een geile vent kun je hier best terecht, maar eigenlijk is het een schandalige tent. De Amsterdamse homoscene is het spoor grotendeels bijster. Laten ze van de 'gewone' horeca leren dat ze echt betere service moeten gaan bieden en meer respect moeten tonen voor betalende bezoekers.

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over a year ago   

Biggest darkroom in Amsterdam. Some gloryholes for those into oral fun. Very central (close by Centraal Station old/typical Amsterdam bar(lot's of wood). 2,70 euros a soft drink. Like written here before, staff not always friendly, depends who is behind the bar. Quite busy almost everytime around 5pm all year long. The concept is "boys next door" and that's true: lot's of kind of men, no attitude, all races/ages, sometimes cute/fit guys (but to be honest rarely with local crowd). So for less than 3 euros, it is like a lottery, u can win the jackpot...sometimes. This is part of the fun! Compared to club Church for example, where you will spend 10 euros (or even 12,50 euros, and even more)for a very small/aseptic venue, not so central, and without the Amsterdam touch/charm, it worths a visit. Good luck!

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over a year ago   

had a great time there 3 weeks ago on a saturday afternoon around 3 pm i couldnt believe how busy it was downstairs sucked a lot of cock especially one nice dutchman with grey hair and a rockhard cock i would recommeng this bar barstaff were friendly also not like the muscleman prick in the eagle

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over a year ago   

the best darkroom of the world...
sometimes common but often as hot as much as you can expect it
the staff don't have to be friendly like expexted by some but efficient
and that's what they are too !

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Last modified over a year ago by ROLLO | Events, dates, locations and content may be subject to change. Always check with organizer before making travel plans.